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"Sometimes when you don't want a thing, but you have to spend enough time with it, you get used to it, and when it's gone, you feel... Lost."

So, somebody from down here posted that.  Des said it, or something along those lines.  Color me shocked, I didn't know Des could get philosophical.

But... I understand it.  I think.  I mean, what I've had to live with, it hasn't been anywhere near as long as Des or (it would seem) this Zel guy has.  But... still.  I hate it, I don't want it, but if I were ever actually normal again... what would I do?  Where would I go?  How could I just go on living as if everything were normal after what I've seen and done?  After what I've been?

I couldn't do it.  I think... as much as I hate being an angel, as much as I wish I could be normal again, if I ever fall...

I don't want to survive.  Because what would be left for me?